A running commentary of sorts. Some inconspicuous and some that can never go better than what nots... A personal take on all things under the sun, narcissistic and often times dumb.
My calloused hands are soiled of ocre and sunshine with a tears of blood trying to hide behind the green curtain of uncertainty. A secret union of colors almost forgotten and faded stuck somewhere in the corner of my mind, I keep like a stash of stardust for the rainy days. My hands out-stretched and I let go.
I was reading through the neglected stack of books that have been standing by the doorway waiting to be rediscovered... just by corner of my room. From one book to another I philandered like a restless whore. As I turn from pages to pages wandering aimlessly the words jump out like travelers from distant past and all I can make out of them are gibberish, an almost stutter of a pantomime.
Phrases were marching along with question marks and colorful exclamation points peppered with commas and periods in between. I couldn't understand them and I feel numb.
I was hoping the books would amuse me. Silently I feel dumb.
Its difficult when I can no longer say what I really mean because the knowing has scarred me. To deal with my thoughts, I suffocate but I try to breathe. Gasping for moments, cautiously and silently listening to my heartbeat.
When spoken words are scarce and silence abound, music hopefully fills in for whatever is lost in translation. Me thinks, when you miss someone, you don't miss them in parts. You miss everything about them.
Strings of thoughts and melodies woven by longing so great that it hurts. When "missing" becomes "longing". And when words become kisses... I ache.
Touch, calloused, smooth and tentative. Holding, no... almost groping, wanting to feel the warmth of your skin as I drunk the scent of your silence. No words can escape the thoughts of my lingering hands as I run my fingers across like moist kisses on abandon tracing the contours of your body with each fingers craving and longing.
"I just want to leave this message in case that you are ready to read the messages that I sent you offline..."
"Love is a part of us all that we choose to give and no one can force us to love. I can't blame and force you to love me like I wanted you too. But remember that someone out there... someone will love you like no other; your parents, siblings, friends and those that stay in the shadows hoping the best for you. They hurt as well when you hurt but we have to show a brave face to let you know that we are around no matter what." "In those moments you thought you were alone, you never were. You have been loved. Yes, we all hurt, then we heal, then we reach out, we believe and then we love again. This time around may it be a lesson: we meet people half way, we don't go changing for someone,we retain who we are."
"And if the Love that we are looking for comes around the bend we try to be the right person because there is never the Right Person."
"We make things happen... everything is but a choice. Love is not taught, love comes with no introductions. So never say you'd never love again because you know deep inside you would and one day that LOVE would be true."
Why the hell am I posting this for? Relevance, I guess.
You know you love me. ;o)
You were staring at that distant wall where waves crash and take its turn. On that horizon you were looking for something or maybe waiting for someone...either which I do not know. I too was lost in the waves scanning the horizon as far as my blind eyes can take me.
I was secretly hoping you'd turn around and see me there, or perhaps notice that I see you--so you would stop searching. I was asking the waves to bring me your eyes so I can see what my blind eyes can not. Alas, the waves can only kiss the sand and go back to where-ever it came from. It too can not help me see nor cheat what your private thoughts confess.
And then you turned around and walked away.
-----
I stood there staring at the distant wall where waves crash and take its turn. I was waiting for you to say something and turn your gaze towards me. You seem lost as I am, but you just stood there. I had to turn and walk away.
-----
I saw them from a distance. They were watching the tides roll towards the evening sky. From where I am, I can see him looking over his shoulder and his eyes where filled with words his mouth can not say... then he looked up as if in prayer. And then I realized... they were just a breath apart, but not one nor the other could reach out and take that chance. Later did I realize they were alone.
For whatever its worth, I am reason enough. A good friend once told me over coffee, "You use to hit the gym, right?" Me says, "Yeah, that was way back." "What happened?", he asked. "Don't really have any more reason to." He blurted,"YOURSELF, is reason enough."
And I could not agree more.
Getting lost can help you find yourself. Don't be afraid to let go. Don't be scared of the uncertain and the unknown... all of them are worth discovering. In the moment of your grief and sadness, I pray you take a pocketful of sunshine filled to the brim with happy memories. Just hold to those memories and remember the warmth because those memories you can keep forever. People change and leave you behind with question marks and scars in between but always remember: Other than those that matter, YOURSELF is always reason enough.
When you are sad remember, today is a new day. Memories are waiting to be created, smile more often, laugh and be carefree because at the end of the day YOU are reason enough to be happy. Celebrate life, there is a lot of time to be dead later on.
I am not really a fan of IMMORTAL but when Rico posted this on his wall on a social site I figured this song is just genius. The lyrics well crafted and haunting. The video was well directed by no other than Richard V. Somes. Over-all it had that cryptic-gothic-Rizal-version vampire-esque feel on it.
The lyrics tell so much about a love repressed that even if no words were used to tell its tale, you can feel it pulse through your being--it runs and courses through your veins and it hurts in each heaving breath. Even on the whole pretend that we don't care enough because we are hurting... deep inside we long for that moment to touch once again the warmth of the skin that has consumed you with longing.
Sigh...
Listen to it and know what I mean.
Kahit Walang Sabihin Rico Blanco
Muling Kakagat
Ang Hating Gabi
Magigising
Ang Panaginip
Bawat Mithing Naidlip
Daliang babangon
Kahit walang Sabihin
Maririnig Ang Damdamin
Maghihimagsik
na Dugo at Laman
Sa Ilalim ng Buwan
Muling Haplusin
Apoy ng katawan
Marahang ipikit
Ang iyong kamalayan
Bawat patak ng dugo
Muling aalon
Kahit walang aminin
Madarama sa hangin
Ang Tibok ng Pusong
May Pagibig Ng
Higit Sa walang hanggan
Kahit walang Sabihin
Maririnig Ang Damdamin
Maghihimagsik
na Dugo at Laman
Sa Ilalim ng Buwan
Kahit walang aminin
Madarama sa hangin
Ang Tibok ng Pusong
May Pagibig Ng
Higit Sa walang hanggan
Found this article in google and I think this is really interesting. I use to tell someone that each time he gives me that smile I kind of feel like he is up to something. This whole write up made me think of the good times... made me smile in some way. Check the list out, it may help you read your guy's lips.
He’s Smirking
When the corners of a guy’s mouth pull back and up, it can look like a douchey sneer. But surprisingly, it means he wants to smile, but he’s feeling self-conscious. It’s harder for men to show positive emotions, so this mini smile is his “controlled” version of a big grin.
His Pout Is Pursed
He probably has bad news — like he dented your car or can’t make it to your BFF’s party. A scrunched-up pucker and tension around his lips are signs he is struggling to force out the words.
He Covers His Mouth With His Palm
Something (you?) is making him nervous! Touching himself is a form of self-soothing, and briefly shielding his lips shows he’s feeling too tongue-tied to speak.
He Bites His Lip
Yeah, baby, he’s hot for you. Chewing is what we do to something yummy, so he’s subconsciously nibbling his lips, imagining putting them on yours.
SOURCES: Body-Language Expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D; Body-Language Expert Audrey Nelson, Ph.D, Co-author of Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Listen
If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.
We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.
There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.
And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.
The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.
Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.
When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and Silverware. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo desert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.
Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings.
Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might of never happened had you not been there by yourself.
Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.
But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.
You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.
But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those “sappy slogans” from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.
It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.
Take silence and respect it.
If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.
You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.
Someone sent me this, so what do you think? Don't be shy... lets keep it real. Porn is suppose to turn you on. But is there ever a point when it doesn't help? Is there ever a moment that when you see this, you see a picture of that person you wish was beside you reading this waste of a blog? When you see something as graphic as this, does it makes you cry and long for that someone special?
I find this kiss erotic, so full of longing. The desire to taste is evident, the need is so graphically portrayed in its most visceral form--a kiss... a PORN KISS.
Kiss that person you wish to and not regret. Its our only way of telling what words can never say right. Just go and kiss that special someone.
1. Meetings
2. Bosses either nag, pull my legs, or disregard me (the latter I prefer)
3. Time is so fast I can barely concentrate
4. Manic as it already is, coffee needs multiple refills
5. After a Monday's work a Man can help ease things out and chill (LOL)
6. Beer comes after
7. Draining but its a good jump-start for the week, normally ends on a Wednesday (I work on weekends, looser.)
8. Time to deal with last week's data (this can come as a shock or a relief)
9. Time of the week where bitch mode activates
10. Fake smile gets glued on the face with a dumb eyes nodding in agreement
11. Secretly hoping that I can just leave work earlier without people noticing
12. Monday's like a box you just have to get out
13. Its just another day in a week that gets me nearer to the next one
14. Monday sucks like every other day (smirk)
15. You guessed it! Its pointless to define Monday when you have to rush to work like... right now.
When someone asks you to jump. You'd often wonder, why.
There would be a time in your life no matter how sure you are that you wouldn't just jump.
Out of no where you'd say "How high, do you want me to jump?"
I was just sick for a few days... this "thought" just keeps haunting me while Grenade is playing at the background. Sometimes the thought itself makes me want to puke, but I guess there would be people that would come into your life that you would just do almost anything to make them happy. Selfish as I am I never thought I would be like that... but I guess I was.
It contains the empty parts from within and without
It makes both empty spaces whole
It's when one defines that each sides are equal
A square is a shape of us... bound from within and without
So what's a Square For?
Honestly Jackie Boyz
Were a long long way from the people we use to be
And your long way past taking the chance on me
And the shadows of doubt have all faded out
And made it so easy to see
Honestly im yours
Finally im sure
Im where I belong and baby your all that I need
Honestly
Honestly
I had to confess its all because of you
You showed me how to live in the simple truth
Where else do you go when you know that you know
After everything we've been through
Honestly im yours
Finally im sure
Im where I belong and baby your all that I need
Honestly
What more could I need but your love and effection that you gave to selflessly
Honestly
Ohhh yeaah
Ohhh
Honestly im yours
Finally im sure
Im where I belong and baby your all that I need
Honestly im yours
Finally im sure
Eh im where I belong and baby your all that I need
Honestly
