A running commentary of sorts. Some inconspicuous and some that can never go better than what nots... A personal take on all things under the sun, narcissistic and often times dumb.
For the last 2months, things are on a fast track for me when it comes to relationships or lets just say, my need to have a relationship. I took a risk once more which made me realize that, I should date a bit more and look for that right person.
Alas, it was too late when I realized that finding the right person is not like waiting for a cab in some corner. Finding the right person is like ham and egg, like the chicken you involve yourself and like the pig you have to commit and make it work.
On the next scene: I am much thankful for all the people I met, friends that I knew and experiences that I have mastered. The pains I went trough, and the roller-coaster ride was nothing short of living a young life. As the year turns over, another page opens and I start to pen, who I am becoming.
That was all that I said, excuse me while I kill myself. Pathetic ain't it... yes it is .
Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons, you should have mastered a long time ago. But I was stubborn. Me thought I can make it on my own, look at me now. I am left with just plain nothing, just nothing.
On a lighter note, although I so love chuvaness and bryanboy I think I like too much of so many, I guess by December I have to create a direction for this page. It dawned to me that this is just a waste of internet space. I am not sure which road am going to take, but definitely this time around I have to go BOHEMIAN (make a guess...)
For now enjoy LADY GAGA's BAD ROMANCE or just go drop dead.
Francis and LloHan are both working at the Art Gallery of Barcelona. LloHan was a curator and Francis was a critique and they have been working there together for almost nine months now. It was the 6th of September 2001 since he was taken in by the Artes Galería de Barcelona after a year of serving as a junior curator in one of the prominent museums of Paris. Francis was a very amicable guy and a heavy smoker.
On LloHan’s first day he was quite nervous that at the very first chance to get a breather, he went out to the park just a walk across the street outside the gallery. There he noticed this lanky guy who was quite a good looking mestizo smoking a filtered cigarette, he was looking at LloHan with an amused look. LloHan who noticed his pin on the left lapel recognized him as one of his co-employees. Smiling back in recognition he walked towards the bench facing a sculpture of bronze, an Aztec priestess standing with an ornate robe and on her outstretched arms as in offering lays a shallow dish with which they burn incense.
‘Hey, it’s your first day huh…?’ Francis asked. ‘You bet … it is.’ LloHan answered fumbling with his hands inside his pocket. Francis took out a packet of cigarette from inside his vest and offered some to LloHan. ‘I really don’t smoke but I guess I can use some right now.” LloHan retorted. Francis handed him his packet of green Phillip Morris and LloHan was right it was the filtered type.
He took one and handed back the packet and Francis gave him his cigarillo to light his and placed the packet of PM inside his vest pocket and extended his right hand and said, ‘Francis del Castillo, I am a critique in the hub.’
‘Lloyd Handrei de la Croix, I was the new curator. I’d be damned I really am nervous.’ LloHan coughed and grinned.
Francis shrugged in an almost aloft manner and laughed in a bellowing baritone. It was an infectious laugh which made LloHan felt at ease. There friendship started with a piece of smoke and LloHan thought he would never smoke again. It was disgusting! It was as if you are chocking your self with air but the difference was it was an air full of shit. But it did help calm him down at that moment, it took his mind of his worries and tried worrying on breathing the shit and coughed out from time to time.
LloHan met Francis’ beau Arian Dominggo, a tall slim figured lady with a well endowed bosoms that LloHan secretly wonder if it was all hers. Since then the pair has been setting up LloHan to meet their lady friends and acquaintances and to Arian and Francis’ disappointment LloHan seems to have very high ideals when it comes to woman. He never gets serious. He had some affairs, and some indiscretions. He was not celibate for that matter. When he messes up with his sex life he never uses his real name and never encourages attachment. He is very religious with using the rubber and typically never returns phone calls. The single females in the staff has been gossiping about his conquests whether there is some truth in the heresy that “he is a sex god” they know not but some are dying to give it a try. Too bad they may never know for it is LloHan’s primary rule not sleep with his co-workers. Would just complicate things, he would say. At the prime of his youth he does not want to commit and to be tied down—though he had few encounters of being tied on the bed posts.
As he reached his flat this was near the corner of San Filipe three blocks from the Catedral de Barcelona, just another ten-minute walk to the museum, the bells are tolling for the evening novena. He clicked the lock and went in, checked his voicemail and went to his office and checked his e-mail. Went to the kitchen took out the Tropicana Orange Juice from his elegant cabinet type refrigerator and took a swig. He had quite a taste in his furnishings and his kitchen was clean, like a torn page from a magazine. Black granite counter tops red cabinets; the scheme was very bachelor and sophisticated. He paraded to his bedroom with the tetra pack on his left hand switched on the lights on top of his bed hangs a mural 34x26 by Joan Miró. He is leaving in the modest No.43 2nd Flat of the Casa Batlló, an apartment which was designed by the famous Antoni Gaudí, a work of art. How predictable, a man who works at the Artes Gallería de Barcelona inhabits a work of art. He stripped and turned on the shower left the juice in front of the mirror by the sink and dumped his trousers and shirt on the laundry basket. He went in and closed the frosted glass panel in the shower compartment and soaked under the cascading cold water and let the salty water that had dried on his skin to wash off. He prepared himself for yet another date but this time it is quite different, it’s some tea on a Café Andalucia in the grand boulevard of Passeig de Gràcia and maybe dinner afterwards. After that, he really doesn’t know. He just hope it would not be that boring.
Andrei Abbot is a struggling artist and an eclectic savant of the art, whose first exhibit is two-weeks away and is still short of six pieces for the 13-piece art show. He is in deep thought trying to feel something that could inspire him. He is standing in front of his window on the third story of a four-storey apartment that he has leased since moving out of his parents house four years since. Each flat is occupied separately and the bottom flat was a bookstore owned by a widow, Senyora Ambrocia del Salvador who lives at the top flat with his son.
After the devastation of Ondoy (KETSANA), we are left with what... nothing.
We start from the ground up. We get ourselves together and clean up, and hope for the better.
Although we have been washed empty of frills and left struggling to cope and regain the life we have had.
We are still thankful that beyond the horror, we have learned to shred our pretensions and social divide to huddle-up our humanity and contribute. The rest of us who haves survived can learn, understand and regain our life amidst the loss that Ondoy has brought and grieve for the loss of those that perished.
Ondoy has left... right after the flood we have to rebuild. We survived.
I have never had the energy to write something new with in the past few days, the flood is just terrible but I am still thankful in so many ways. I saw an article reposted on Facebook, that a friend shared and found it really interesting and an informative read.Anna thanks for this piece, it deserves to be read by everyone.
One of our fundamental planning problems is that most of what we now use as residential areas in Metro Manila were parts of floodplains and riverbeds. Subdivision were built on former wetlands, rivers & creeks "forced" to become straight, or cemented over to become roads, or to create more sellable space.
People cement over open spaces & natural vegetation, destroying the earth's capacity to drain storm water naturally.Simply put, we are just mostly in the way of the natural landscape processes in our very fragile and geologically young archipelago.
Flooding is a natural landscape process. Floods bring nutrients to ecosystems along waterways and make it possible for various forms of life to thrive.
Problems start when settlements sprout on floodplains, or when people insist on tampering with the natural shapes of rivers and tributaries. Builders insist on making water travel in a straight line instead of slowing it down by following the river's natural curves.
When we cover up the earth with cement, it loses its ability to absorb the water that naturally comes from the sky. It is not only trees that will help us prevent floods; water run-off is also absorbed by the various types of indigenous vegetation, like grass and shrubs that naturally occur along riverbanks.
Typhoon Ondoy is a reminder that we've forgotten that rivers have been here before us. It reminds us that we've been remiss with trying to find long-lasting solutions to the problems of our urban settlements. We've simply allowed developers to cover up too many wetlands and cut up too much land.
We've also allowed ourselves to buy into their concept of development and be seduced by the idea of the "house & lot" dream home.
This dream only made our cities sprawl out, and obliterated natural waterways with the roads that had to lead to them. These very roads made us buy cars so that we could get to our homes out there. This increased pollution, carbon emissions and caused more roads to be built. Subdivisions near the hinterland, and in former agricultural lands or wetlands, displaced rural people, and increased land prices.
The images from the aftermath of Ondoy were very telling: roads turned into rivers, houses submerged by mud, and cars being carried away by currents.
On the other hand, images of people helping one another in this time of crisis were very inspiring and telling of a resilient people.
Perhaps we can harness that community spirit in preventing all this from happening again. We could start by rethinking where we live, and how we live. We could compel the authorities to ensure that those who will tend to settle in marginal land because they want to be near where the jobs are given a chance to live in safer areas.
It may mean the end of the practice of gated communities that tend to be homogeneous and therefore keep the poor out.
It could mean the start of new forms of communities, where rich and poor, middle class and middle poor will have to live right next to each other so that ALL are out of harm's way. It's not yet too late. There will be more generations that will inherit the earth. If we start now, we will be doing our grandchildren a favor.
This is one of the few shames that the Philippines if facing right now. I would really like to believe that the monies that this Tim Garcia is spending to live a lifestyle and the couture that he has stacked in those Hermes boxes and what not are coming from legitimate family hand downs.
Only those of the Lopez's in the Philippines or maybe of the Hechenova's and some others can actually afford to be this shamelessly grand, but hey this Tim Garcia is not alone in this he is only living the life his father afforded for him right. And his father could be a legend in investments if indeed he was able to amass this in a Philippine government based salary--well maybe if including the hush hush money that this family is accused of.
Well, I don't have sympathy for individuals like this who never have to sweat a dime to live how they deserve. This is a shame and even the word gross is an understatement.
TIM Garcia, another name of shame for the Philippine conscience, who can only think of luxury as a well deserved family inheritance. Birds of the same father.
Well at times surfing the web can be a tad boring so having music in the back ground helps, personally I hate downloading them cause it only eats byte space in my memory, so why not stream radio station of your choice.
Horoscope are one of the few things that I check in every paper that I read and I like Jonathan Cainer's of the Daily Mail UK or if you don't want it plain and simple you can try binging it and get Horoscopechurvahey.
If you wanted to find who had her breast augmented and who has chosen a different nose then you can check out awful plastic surgery.
Would definitely love to watch this (hopefully not alone), this is a major thing for the Philippine cinema and its backed by a power house cast. This would create ripples in the industry and am waiting...
In the Philippines consumers are not really protected by abusive practices of conglomerates example: internet service providers.
They are advertising speeds of "UP TO 2MBPS" and you are requested to sign a contract that you are not given a copy, this is more like a form of coercion that does not give consumers a chance to make a well informed decisions (by law this form of contract never wins, consumers have all the rights--hell fuck yeah).
But hey, is there a government agency that police unfair business practices or misleading adverts? Services that you are paying that are not meeting your needs, what do you do?
Well for me I'd say fuck em! As of the moment I am very upset of how SUN Cellular has been providing their services! I am so changing over if I do not receive a sensible explanation for all the delay and no internet connection for days!
after a few days of ruckus from the web caused by the tweeter incident, i have decided now to keep two blogs open at the same time am not sure if i can maintain it but I sure will try.
am still learning the ropes of my wordpress account so in the future you can visit me at http://aikcomo.wordpress.com. just the same level of nonchalance, stupidity and bitchiness but all's good.
am moving out of my place by the end of august and i found this dorm like place somewhere, all amenities provided i just have to bring me ass to the place and the clothes on my back and pay the rent then i would fantabuloush.
but for now am torn by indecision since i am not definite if my brother can hold on his own, this might be a very difficult job to do for an older brother but i hope in the coming years he'd realize that my decision to let him on his own and me not always around can grow him some balls.
we would have to do what we have too, am selling all my stuff at cheap prices (refrigerator, bed, sofa, etc---sensible offers not declined, need to let them all go before the 20th of August) if interested leave a message.
I opened my eyes and squinted as the light from the lamp pierced through. I can hear the beating of my own heart persisting to do its job, rushing blood to my lifeless soul.
Every muscle and bone revolting from the ounce of will and movement, wishing that all this is but a dream. And that this pain is nothing... just another nasty hangover.
I lay here alone, bare and unwilling to live on, protesting to the passions in life. Yet my eyes stayed open and I can see you standing there at the back of my mind. Memories of you etched as you closed the door behind.
Tears well up my soul, you are gone together with the monsoon rain. Flashes of lighting crossed the shadows in my room and suddenly a... click, and the lamp went dead.
I lay here almost lifeless except... I am still alive, my body struggles to live. Motionless, I tucked myself in the darkness waiting for sleep to visit me, perhaps in my dreams I would forget. I had wished but it was never easy, the heartbreak of loosing someone never passes by that fast.
As dawn crept its way across the fields, flashes of you and I tumbled in my memories. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to soak the past in the dark. I hugged myself facing the wall, somehow I knew things would be better it always does.
The empty hum of the morning came as the sun caressed my back as I lay here waiting. I cringe of the thought that I have to face the sun alone. I have to gather my wits and make the most of what is left of me.
I stood shakily and gathered broken pieces of me and tried mightily to tear myself from the sheets that comforted me through the night. As I stood myself up the lamp flickered back to life, outside the window everything seems so clean.
The morning dew clinging to the blades of the leaves as it flutters and flaps by the breeze. The sky so blue and the earth basking in the suns glow like lovers beaming from afar. I stood there empty waiting for my tears to spill out but I only stood ... waiting.
Amy Winehouse - (There Is) No Greater Love Album: Frank Found at: lilmikesf.blogspot.com
When I found this on my daily reads at a blog I frequent--cant help but repost it here. I have to share the love. This(video) is how I feel right now, minus the girl in the building across the street. If only I would find that someone... would it ever come?
It would, so they say, when? Maybe now, later or maybe just someday...
Here I am yet again; dreamy eyed, tingling spine and a heart that skips a beat every time I see you smile. You make my day, I know how clichéd it is but you really do make me smile. The way you purse your lips that show that subtle naughty grin that would always keep me guessing what is on your mind. Though it is quite futile but the sight of you not carrying the world around your shoulder lifts my spirit high.
I know somehow you’d ask, “Why do you like me?” We’ll that is a question that I have been trying to figure out all this time. We’ll I found several answers that makes sense well at least for me. There is the the bullshit, and the real one. But the thing is I never chose to like you, I just did.
Then I asked myself would this be the last time, would there be no other?
Marina Elali - One Last Cry Found at: media.trama.com.br
The law of opposites comes to mind--if this is even a coherent claim. But the subject in the opposing polarity does not necessarily repel you, just avoiding any form of contact and limits conversation to a dead-end single sentence or monosyllabic responses.
The quirk on the equation though is that in the absence of anyone else within hearing distance, behavior of subject is quite amiable--almost nullifying previous behavior shown.
Having said all that, I have decided to hermit myself for a week or as deemed necessary and limit point of contact to monosyllabic responses as well.
Outcome: unsatisfactory.
Fast-forward, today I was watching Cowboys and Angels and this line made me realize, well, labels are labels but they don’t change who we are as a person. We are who we are because of the choices we have made.
The conversation between the main characters is very poignant.
"Are you gay?" -Why do you ask? ...silence -yes I am, it’s the fashion thing aint it? "smile… no...its everything."
“I’m not by the way.” -i figured. “It’s the hair thing isn’t it?” -its everything... smile."
Jack Johnson - Better Together Album: In Between Dreams Found at: saezien76.free.fr
I don’t know maybe it’s the isolation that I am in prompted me to just tap this alphanumeric tiles, with my letter N just popping out. I yanked it once and its kind of broken that I have to press it really hard to keep it back where it should be.
I am quite bored as you would have guessed; I already have tried reading all the stuff I could manage. I have finished Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe, Robert Goddard’s Set In Stone, Dominick Dunne’s Another City, Not My Own and many others.
I always find solace in reading but our library seems to be if not empty never does exist. Movies is not out of the question, we have quite a collection but I have seen almost all that would make sense, the 2-thumbs up kind of reel and to the foolishly stupid ones. I have seen quite a few of blue movies.
Blah blah blah… nothing interesting really.
Well except that I remember yet another: wishful thinking.
Oftentimes I hate myself for being me, but all of these are my own doing. I made a choice thus I have to face the consequences of the choices I took. Yeah, its sucks to be me.
Had to have Amy sing for me today much love dahlings next time maybe with something better.
P.S: me pussied out on dying my hair maybe I'll take baby steps in going cwazy...
Werq... its all pressure if you don't know the buttons, but I would say its never manipulation if you know how to get the results you wanted. Ever felt like you need to clean the mess first before you can study in your room for the big exam. Some of us can function better if we have a cleaner soroundings or maybe a clearer perspective.
Funny how this read (for me), check this one out at http://www.cutehoroscopes.com
and now.... ON BORROWED WINGS
He was in the prime of his youth without a care in the world or so most of the people think when they see him. But through his walk to the beach he has been thinking on what will become of him at twenty-five and what is he looking for in life.
His thoughts had separated him from all the rest that are idly walking on the beach. He didn’t mind or even notice the two giggling girls who were giving him an eyeful; both scantly clad and are bathing in the afternoon glow of the summer sun.
It was a fifteen-minute walk from the beach to his apartment, and on this particular walk as he was now walking on the walk-way stopping a while and putting his sandals on he noticed this mobile of cylinder chimes strategically placed in a single strand of what seems to him a threadlike metal that gleamed in the sun with silver luster. The chimes sounded pleasantly peaceful even in the hustle and bustle of the people coming and going from the beach. It was hanging outside the balcony on the third storey.
From across the walkway to the street which was about ten meters, there is a bookstore painted in fire-truck red and an elaborate metal signage made of copper or bronze in an oval shape was gleaming clean at the corner just above the door to the shop, the metal engraves read Lengua en el Alma. Language of the Soul, it was quite nice looking spot which seems filled with books at the sizable area of the lot and on the second balcony he could hear the chorus of the chimes in the mobile.
The mobile in itself looks like it is going to fall any minute but by equilibrium it seemed to defy gravity and it just hangs there dancing on the breeze. It was a wonderful sight, pleasing to the senses, and a welcome distraction from his deep thought. LloHan has this habit of speaking his thoughts out loud as if talking to himself, but he makes sure no one in earshot hears him otherwise they might think he’s nuts. ‘I have been passing this way but I have never noticed this place, not until now. A bookshop with chimes on top.’ He sighed and smiled to himself. He was thinking of getting in the shop and look around and maybe even ask who owns the chimes on top and maybe where they bought it but decided against it, he still has a date with this lady his friend Francis del Castillo has arranged.
LloHan is really not into blind dates, he thinks he is not that desperate but Francis was insistent that he meet this girl for tea, for he said she was an English expat of notable family. ‘I wonder what a proper English lady is doing on the Spanish shores.’ This thought has raised his curiosity a bar that is why he finally agreed on this date or for tea. He never got used on the idea of drinking soaked aromatic weeds on fancy china. This always hit him as silly. (to be continued)
Later on today I am going to either make a mess of my hair and end up with a disaster including my eyebrows. But of course I would be an eye to help my friend make some choices to dress and look his age.
Lets keep our fingers crossed and I'd try to posts pics of the differences later on today.
Meanwhile I found these amusing anagrams something of a hot and so now courtesy of Bent Magazine July 2009 issue.
"It’s no secret that language is adapting. Already we have the internet contracting conversations to streams of capital letters and symbols denoting emoticons. But we find it’s not quite adapting fast enough. Here at Bent Towers we have a range of emotions and sentiments we’d love to see expressed in more economical terms. So in order to aid the evolution of the English language (and bitch in a more timely fashion), here are our favourite new anagrams."
And for your gutter thoughts and imagined realities I found this.
Me and my friend from "Are you thinking what Im thinking?" has decided to make a major reinvention on how we both look, on the outside. Of course the me that I know would really jump into this idea of something new for this quarter but this time I would not be doing it alone. I would really hate for this to look like a disaster of a make over so I decided to scoure the net for advices on the best hair color thats reasonable on our individual skin tone.
This whole idea started when we had lunch and the question as to how old Iz looks like and me saying, dude you look 30ish. This was met with a half wit chuckle and almost weird look of frustration. Well lemme tell you how this 25ish works his swagger. Imagine: glasses, thin hair strands, khaki almost always or perhaps slacks, collared polo or even long sleeves, tuck in with the paternal looking belt, serious tone, very religious and speaks logic. What gives? He said he has adopted the same look his 30 something relatives has.
I still have 3days more before we go crazy in all this. What do you think is the best hair color for a natural black curly hair--if not cwazy kinky hair twirls-- and a tinted hazel brown contacts?
And what are the necessities for a 30ish looking 25 something guy to look his age, ward robe wise?
What is there left juicy enough for us to speculate. Do you close a sentence when you get the answer of a question? I really am not sure if you lied straight faced, 'cause if you did then you really are good at it. Is the truth some times, that plain? It was a waste, I should have guessed better.
Are we that creative when we think of possibilities and what ifs? Carnal thoughts get the better of us most of the time.
Dissatisfaction and dissent does it mean you can do better? Well lets talk about something really off, did you know...? (the gossip continues)
As the year 2008 tide over to 2009 I went thru this whole cycle off liking someone like really really much... we remained friends... we saw each other at times then I lost my phone darn should get a new one. Read on if you wish to reminisce with me times that your heart skipped a beat with that thumpa thumpa...
The hard part of really liking someone is not actually in the telling but in finding the perfect words that really say what you mean. Just last 21st of January 2008 I finally told you (sort off) how I felt about you. It was just me being scared that my time would run out, that I would never be able to say how you mean to me. But I guess I did like you, too much I fact that I acted like a fool never able to put my feelings into words. I felt dumb, unable to string words that actually make sense. I was never good at telling that I knew but somehow I felt I have to no matter how senseless, no matter how dumb.
I don’t know, even I can’t explain why I feel the way that I do. I don’t want you to think or even to feel that I am telling you this to get to you, what would hurt me more is that I would loose a friend I had in you. I have always thought of you as a friend first. But I grew fond of you, never realized it would reach the point were it would sting.
I know I told you “trip kita” but that was just way beyond what I actually wanted to tell. But at least now I am not alone, you know as you always have. Don’t run away from me, just stick around maybe somehow I would get over you. I really need to… because it is all wrong. I can’t possibly yearn for someone who is married. I will never know what is in your mind, but I can feel your warmth you are a good person. I don’t know if it would be fair for me to say that somehow I thought for a moment you were my soul mate that I have been searching all my life. We’ll I guess I will have to keep on searching but somehow I would look back at the times and smile at the thought of you and how you make me smile somehow.
Then I ate just another heart break... move one they said... we'll that's easy for you to say.
